A Cruising Blunder
by Aya Diefair
Summary: With their international travel ban lifted, the newlyweds plan their muggle honeymoon to celebrate, but why were Draco's parents constantly showing up at their cruise destinations? — - Part of the Threads of Fate Collection
1. A Magical Cruise Without the Magic

**Rated: **K

**Genre: **Humor, Family

**Summary: **Lucius wanted to do something special for Narcissa now that their international travel ban was lifted. These magical cruises Draco talked about sounded intriguing.

* * *

"I wish you would tell me where we were going, Lucius," a bewildered Narcissa said while packing several travel trunks. "It would make packing much easier for me."

Lucius chuckled as he finished tidying his own trunk. "Even if you did know, my dear, you'd still pack for all occasions and weather."

He could feel his wife's piercing ice-blue eyes boring into his back. "I want it to be a surprise for a reason."

It was no secret the couple needed a holiday. It'd been so long since their last one that Lucius had nearly forgotten where they went last. Ever since the war ended, the family were barred from international travel for several years. Now that it was finally lifted, Lucius wanted to make their newfound freedom worthwhile.

Draco had the same idea in mind for his and Astoria's honeymoon, which they conveniently left earlier that morning for the same reason. Lucius had found a pamphlet in one of his son's cloak pockets with information about a magical boat ride that took them to the Mediterranean sea and found the idea quite appealing. He decided to send the information to an old friend in the International Traveling and Regulation Department to secretly plan a trip to go on one as well, but to Scandinavia.

"Would you like a hand? Our Portkey will be here any minute now."

"Yes," Narcissa hissed, "you can take the luggage down to the foyer for the elves to pick up."

Taking her clipped tone as a sign to leave her be, Lucius took the packed trunks to the foyer without complaint.

* * *

"What in Merlin's name is that?" Narcissa asked while looking in horror at the monstrous ship in front of her.

Lucius stood frozen with his own shock while he took in the surroundings. Port Southampton was as far from a magical place as it could get. Muggles wandered about wearing strange hats and eye coverings as they moved about the docking area. It was an unusually warm, muggy late-spring day to begin a trip, and everyone dressed accordingly aside from them.

Thankfully no one paid their slightly off attire much mind as they weaved around them.

"I don't understand," Lucius muttered, "The information pamphlet explicitly stated it was a _magical _boat vacation. Why else would Draco take Astoria on one? What a blasted waste of time this was."

Narcissa looked to her husband and couldn't help but smile. "Oh, come now, dear. I doubt it will be that bad. Why don't we give it a try anyway? No need to have this vacation ruined simply because it's _m__uggle_."

She looked back at the massive boat and laughed. "Who knows? Maybe the thing was built by giants."

Lucius didn't seem keen on the idea but gave into his wife's persuasion. After fumbling with their ticket vouchers, luggage, and the other muggle tourists boarding, the couple found themselves being funneled up the ramp and onto the multi-decked ship. A cruise advisor cheerfully welcomed them before shoving several pamphlets into their hands.

"You're right, sweetheart," Lucius mumbled as they navigated down to the lower deck where their room was. "It'd be impossible for magic _not_ to be involved in creating this monstrosity."

They found their very spacious quarters with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out to the ocean, and after summoning an elf to promptly go exchange galleons into British muggle currency, they sat together on the love seat to look at the ship's map properly.

Lucius was speechless. There was a massive swimming pool and spa center Narcissa couldn't wait to try, and the rock wall, running track, and a workout facility were the last things he'd expect to see on a boat. However, he was intrigued by the mini-golf turf as well as the rather large theatre the map showed a few levels down.

They then perused the rest of the leaflets. "I think that guide was confused. These are all destinations for the Mediterranean. Where are the ones for Scandinavia?"

"That must be their way to entice you to do another one of these trips," Narcissa guessed. "I wouldn't worry about it. Let's get to the top deck, the ship is about to depart."

The couple made their way to the top deck to take in the view. As they entered the lift that would take them there, a very familiar voice hollered down the corridor. "Hold the door!"

Lucius instinctively interfered with the closing door, causing it to reopen to now be face-to-face with his son, Draco.

"Father? What are you doing here?"

"I'd ask you the same."

Astoria peeked around him, and her jaw almost went slack with shock. "H–Hello."

"This is a surprise!" Narcissa said. "Did Scandinavia call to you instead?"

Draco looked bewildered. "Scandinavia? This ship is going to Greece."

Lucius shifted so that the couple could climb into the lift. By some miracle, they were the only ones in there. He looked to Narcissa, minor panic etched in his features and no words formed.

"We will make the most of it, regardless," Narcissa offered.

"There's still time to deboard, or even _Apparate…_" Draco strongly hinted, appearing quite uncomfortable.

"Nonsense, dear," Narcissa said, looking back to their son. "We will make sure to not interfere with you two enjoying your honeymoon. It will be like we were never here."

She gave Astoria a secretive wink—who blushed profusely—before stepping onto the top deck with Lucius to rejoin the throng of muggles. Draco and Astoria reluctantly followed. The horn and motors firing to life concealed Draco's otherwise very audible cursing. They had, after all, specifically picked a very m_uggle _honeymoon to avoid this very thing happening.

At least the rainbow on the skyline was a beautiful sight.

* * *

_Originally written for:_

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)**

**The Houses Competition  
**

**Monthly Challenges for All**

**Word Count: **954


	2. Newlyweds On Honeymoon, Parents Crash It

**Author's Note:** Astoria is Greek, born in Athens Greece, because why not? Pottermore Etymology: The name [Astoria] may also be related to Astraea, a daughter of Zeus in Greek mythology who personified justice. Astraea is derived from Greek meaning "star-maiden."

* * *

**Summary:** Draco and Astoria have postponed their honeymoon for a reason. They also planned a muggle cruise for it for a reason; to get far away from England and his parents. Then why were they constantly running into them at every turn?

**Rated: **T

**Genre: **Humor, Family

* * *

**Newlyweds Go On Honeymoon, Parents Crash It**

After facing five tiresome years of being in various stages of government lockdown, Draco and Astoria Malfoy were desperate to finally get away from the United Kingdom the moment his international travel ban was lifted. Draco thought he knew what cabin fever was when he was confined to Malfoy Manor for most of his seventh year, but it continued under the Ministry's orders for another year after the war, plus two years of community service once the house arrest was lifted. Being watched every waking hour of the day for four years did things to one's psyche.

Nevermind the whole "serving a madman" bit.

What good that did come out of it all was that Draco now had Astoria in his life, and she kept him sane throughout the repercussions of war. She humbled him, healed him, and restored him in a way he never thought possible after how much he went through—after all of the horrible things he'd done.

They'd been married for two years now and decided to wait on their honeymoon until Draco's ban was lifted, so instead they planned, waited, and took a small weekend trip to the southern coast while biding their time. That was when they discovered large ships that took people to different countries. Intrigued, Astoria asked about them and was immediately wanting to go on one.

"Do you think they're really safe?" Draco asked skeptically. "How can that thing float? It's as big as a giant!"

Astoria rolled her eyes and handed him a bunch of reading materials. "It will float just fine," she assured him. "I hope you don't get seasick, because they have one setting sail to the Mediterranean the same day your ban is lifted, and I already booked us for it."

Draco flipped through the pamphlets for the cruise Astoria was going to make him go on and sighed. It wasn't the fact it was a very muggle tourist thing to do—maybe that did bother him a little bit—it was the newness of it all that scared him.

"If that is what you wish," he said, taking her hand and giving it a gentle kiss, "then I cannot wait to visit your home country with you."

Though Astoria prepared him as best as she could by studying the ship's map, designated route, stops, and evacuation protocols should it sink together, nothing could've prepared them for when they ran into his parents while trying to catch the lift to the main deck for the ship's departure. His _parents, _on a ship. A _m__uggle _ship.

It was the last place he ever thought he'd see them.

"Don't worry, dears," Narcissa told him, "We will make sure to not interfere with you en route. It will be like we were never here."

Draco was surprised she stayed true to her word. The couple didn't have another run-in with them on the ship.

Once the boat docked at the first destination in Gibraltar, Southern Spain, Draco and Astoria headed for the cable cars that took them up The Rock. It was a popular attraction, but the hope of not seeing his parents again was short-lived when they boarded the cable car a few minutes after them.

"_Mother,_" Draco hissed under his breath, "you said you wouldn't meddle in our affairs."

"What did you expect was going to happen?" Lucius asked condescendingly. "They thrust all of these intriguing sights right at you the second you board."

"It isn't our fault we ended up following along with the muggle tourist traps," Narcissa said, backing up Lucius' statement.

"It's not a big deal, really," Astoria assured, placing a comforting hand on Draco's arm.

The embarrassment stained his cheeks when an elder lady boarded the car and promptly took notice of them.

"Oh, how lovely!" she chirped. "It's good to see a family vacationing together these days."

Draco hooked an arm around Astoria and all but drug her out of the cable car, bypassing the elder lady in the process. "There's no relation."

"Was that necessary?" Astoria scolded while they waited for the next car. "You know they didn't come on purpose."

He grabbed her hands in his and looked into her hazel eyes. "That isn't the point. This was meant to be _our time_, and running into them is ruining it. Going on a muggle vacation was supposed to prevent this from happening."

"I guess we'll have to be more creative with our planning, then," Astoria said, a mischievous smile gracing her lips.

Draco always liked it when she smiled like that. It hinted that a reckless, sneaky plan was brewing. It was something he'd grown quite fond of partaking in her shenanigans.

After touring The Rock and shopping center, Astoria steered them off the beaten path to a less touristy looking area of the city where they found a small restaurant. After indulging in authentic staple foods of Spain, they ended up getting a little lost trying to find their way back to the ship.

"We're going to get left behind."

Astoria laughed at the comment. "That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

They decided to apparate back to their room after wandering around a few more minutes and getting more lost. The exploration-overload stacked with travel anxiety and the embarrassment of stumbling across his parents a second time wiped Draco out. He stayed in their cabin through the entire voyage to Italy. Astoria refused to let him stay behind once they docked in Bari.

"Everything I want to see are tourist traps," Draco grumbled while looking through the pamphlets. "And I already know for a fact my parents will be going to them because of it, too."

Astoria scanned the map of what Draco was talking about. He wasn't entirely wrong, but even the smaller port towns had their tour niches. The churches and castles were beautiful in the photographs, but she was drawn to the theatre that sat just off the main strip.

"Let's go here," she said, "Knowing your mother and her tastes for art, she'd want to see the architecture firsthand. We can take a detour and go here to make sure a run-in won't happen and loop back around to see the rest after."

Draco reviewed the map and gave her a genuine smile. "I love you."

"I know."

Astoria was quite clever seeing how predictable Draco's parents were, things couldn't have gone any better in their plan on avoiding his parents. They were even lucky enough to get seats for an opera showing at the Teatro Petruzzelli Theatre. Astoria awed over its intricate design and style while they waited to get in.

"It's a shame that it's not the original structure," Draco said, reading a plaque that was mounted outside of it. "You can't really tell based on the photographs, huh?"

"Maybe a little bit," Astoria said, curling her arm in his. "Shall we?"

Draco pecked her on the cheek and turned to the entrance only to see a pair of bright blond's facing away from them entering ahead. He groaned, and Astoria's small giggle betrayed the annoyed look on her face.

* * *

"I swear they're doing it on purpose now," Draco said before plopping face-first into a pillow back in their cabin. "This is turning into a nightmare."

Astoria barely heard his statement through the muffling of the pillow. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his back.

"There's still plenty of vacation time left," she reminded. "And there is still Athens. It's a big city, and I'm quite familiar with its inner workings, so we can get away from what you and your parents claim are the tourist traps entirely. Maybe seeing a more authentic side of the country will help you enjoy the visit more."

He let out a dejected—but inaudible—comment.

"I know a really great Greek restaurant there," she hinted, "and I definitely know how much you _love _my Greek food." She was not wanting to give up on him yet.

Draco rolled to his side to face her, interest piqued. "Do you really?"

"Yup. It's in a more secluded part of town. No tourists know about it, really."

"We'll be scolded and treated badly, then."

"Nonsense," she said before going off on a tangent in Greek.

Draco was pretty sure he heard her swear a couple of times during her spiel.

The ship finally docked in Port Piraeus, Athens, Greece. After the pep talk from his wife, Draco left the floating palace with a restored appreciation and desire to enjoy the remaining time of their honeymoon in Astoria's hometown. She immediately had them split from the ship's crowd, hailed a cabbie once they got out of the terminal, and had them on their way to the northern part of the city within a half hour. Draco found the car ride unnecessary, but Astoria kept reminding him that they were in it for the muggle experience.

"If you don't think your parents will be there, I can take you to the magical side of Athens after lunch," Astoria offered. "I am quite fond of this small bookstore there, and the apothecary shop always has great stock of an ingredient that never gets imported to the UK."

Draco smirked, gripping her hand. "Do I need to contact Potter now that I know my wife is a contraband smuggler?"

She gently smacked his arm and laughed.

Lunch came and went without issue. Astoria guided him through the streets with ease as they made their way to the dead-end alley that lead them to their side of the city. Seeing his parents in the same shop they entered had Draco completely lose it on them.

"Merlin forbid, Mother! If you want _grandchildren_ someday then you need to work on your Disillusionment or Notice Me Not Charms because this is _not_ how you get them when we're _always_ running into you two!"

Draco took a heated breath, sending steely glares at both of his parents, uncaring that he was making a scene in the middle of the bookstore.

"Might as well move into our cabin on the ship at this point…" Astoria muttered from behind him.

Draco had to force himself to not laugh at the remark.

Narcissa looked taken back by her son's outburst but placed a hand on Lucius' chest to stop him from replying. "I never said you wouldn't run into us off of the ship. I said you wouldn't see us _en route_. Everything else is completely out of our hands."

Draco groaned, running his hands over his face.

This was now the worst vacation Draco ever had, and he remembered really hating his visit to Russia—in the middle of _winter—_when he was eight years old, too.

* * *

_Originally written for:_

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)**

**The Houses Competition, Year 4, Round 3**

**Monthly Challenges for All**

**Word Count:** 1,788


	3. Putting Magic Back Into the Cruise

**Summary:** Despite the disastrous start to their honeymoon, Astoria is determined to not have it entirely spoiled.

**Rated:** T

**Genre:** Family, Humor

**Warning** **Tag:** Implied Sexual Undertones

* * *

**Putting Magic Back Into the Cruise**

Draco found himself on the main deck of the vast cruise ship staring out into the sparkling blue waters. He found the view beautiful despite the disastrous honeymoon he and Astoria experienced from the unfortunate encounters with his parents who mistakenly booked the same cruise as them.

They were heading back for England now, stopping back at the locations they first docked at on the way to Greece for the return trip. Draco hoped it would be a last-ditch effort to salvage and enjoy the remaining holiday with the love of his life and not spot his parents in the crowd.

Astoria joined him, watching the setting sun and listening to the soft waves slosh below.

"I spoke to your parents," she said, breaking the silence. "They promised to stay on the ship for the return trip."

"I doubt they will," Draco muttered, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her close. "This cruise was supposed to be for us. It's already tarnished with their presence."

"Mmm…"

The crowds seemed to dwindle since it was nearing dinner time, but it made the deck more comfortable that way for her to unleash her final plan.

Astoria turned to look in his eyes then, cupping his face and smiling coyly. "I hope it hasn't completely ruined the mood."

The underlying tone had Draco raise a brow. The thought of knowing his own parents were in the suite cabin right next to theirs was unsettling, but the playful look dancing in Astoria's eyes stirred something in his chest.

He let out a nervous laugh then. "You don't mean…"

She kissed him then, cutting him off entirely, and pressed herself against him for added measure. Clearly the daring excitement was Astoria's forte, and who was he to deny her of her wishes?

Astoria pulled away just enough to gaze up at him through her lashes. "Who said we couldn't make them uncomfortable as well?"

He smirked at her, knowing that she intended to be just as daring with her passion as he knew she could be.

Astoria knew how to fight dirty, and he loved her even more for it.


End file.
